The Grill
by Anne Loucks
The other weekend, my girlfriend and I went to the store to help her friend pick up a new outdoor barbeque. When we arrived, the friend was speaking with a salesman and standing among several grills, which I thought were quite large and, as they were of common American design, I estimated that most would be capable of cooking for a family of 10 or more easily.
Shortly, the friend came over to us. He smiled and said, "They sold my grill, but it sounds like they have another one inside." At the time, I did not translate this statement as, "None of those little easy-bake ovens will cut it for my manliness," but when his barbecue revealed itself, I understood. Out of the sliding doors came a gigantic black behemoth.
This was the manliest grill I had ever seen. First off, it was huge, probably twice the size of most others at the store. The reason it was two times as big was simple; it was essentially a pair of barbecues attached together by a metal frame, one gas and one charcoal. To add to the size, there was even a single gas burner at one end, so that a huge pot of baked beans could be simmered while one's meat cooked over an open flame.
Even the aesthetic was manly. Lots of grills are made with sleek curves and sterile polished stainless steel, but not this one. This grill looked like a pair of large black metal barrels on their sides, each sporting smokestacks up top. The entire thing was reminicent of an old steam train. There was no danger of looking too high class or too girly with this grill. I thought the friend's new barbecue was "mantastic," and I told him so.
The attendants wheeled it up to my girlfriend's truck, and we helped to heft this monstrosity into the back. After agreeing to meet at his house, we got in and started driving. We drove only a short distance before my girlfriend noted that something was flapping on the new grill. One of the labels was coming loose. Not wanting to litter, we stopped so that I could grab the label and bring it into the cab of the truck. This led to an important discovery.
The label talked about possible expansions to this already ridiculously big cooking device. Most important to me was that the already huge dual grill could, apparently, be outfitted with a third firebox, which one might use for smoking meat or as an additional charcoal-based cooking space. We laughed about the idea as we drove. I asked my girlfriend if her friend's manliness was diminished by having two women deliver his huge barbecue, and we giggled some more.
Soon, we had arrived at his house, where we helped get the new toy back out of the truck. As our friend dragged his prize to the backyard, he promised to have us over to eat soon.
This might not be the grill, but it looks very similar.
